My happy place 

I am currently sat on my Lazy Boy couch wrapped in my favourite fluffy warm blanket I bought from Walmart. It’s the best purchase ever! No buyer’s remorse at all! 

Right now, I’m also watching Mindhunters, it is so freaking good! I’m glad Netlfix has a ton of new shows to watch because I just finished Stranger Things Season 2. I regret binge watching it because I miss it and I’m probably going to watch it multiple times until they release Season 3 &4 late next year. Big sigh! 

What else is new? Oh, weather today was shitty and grey. There were rumours for snow today, but didn’t see it when I was out…maybe it is right now. No no, I really hope it’s not snowing right now because it is too early! Canada doesn’t believe in early, if it wanted to snow in August I wouldn’t even be surprised because it is well…Canada!

Another thing, I have been dating which was nonexistent for almost a year and a half because I’ve just been whining and not really taking action. However I did date and I am realizing I suck at dates. I’m just giving it a fair chance because of societal pressures and because of the endless nagging, but I’m sick and tired of that. I think the truth is I’ve been so caught up with the idea of soulmate in my head or this weird idea of love that doesn’t exist which force me to find everyone I meet boring or not up to standard. What’s wrong with me? Sometimes I go thru existential crisises and not just from Neil DeGrasse Tyson books, but life in general. Are my standards too high? Why am I so picky? What if my potential husband was one of the guys I’ve dated? 

Okay, I’ll stop! He’s somewhere! He could be dating some lowlife because he hasn’t found me yet Lol! I’m just rambling…okay I’ll get back to watching Mindhunters. 

Ttyl! 

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Overthinking

Hi, I haven’t posted in awhile and I apologize friends.

I am a Virgo and as much as I don’t believe in horoscopes, I know this much is true, that Virgos are over-thinkers. Kind of like that scene in Sponge-Bob when all the little Sponge-Bobs were running frantic in his firey brain tossing files and going crazy.

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It’s sometimes hard for me to communicate how I feel because my anxiety reminds me that if I mess it up, the person on the other end would judge me when in reality they probably don’t care as much as I would. It’s not that big of a deal.

Reality: IT’S NOT SERIOUS!

BRAIN: IT’S SO SERIOUS!

I’m sure I’m not the only one that said or did something and replayed that moment over and over thinking if I made the right decision.

Why am I talking about this? Well, my overthinking mind has led me to not asking all the questions I wanted to know because I’m thinking of how it’s going to sound. Like when I go on dates I’m wondering what they really think of me. Are we friends or something more? I think my problem for the most part is I’m always 10 steps ahead and I’m trying to live in the moment and I think over the years, I have gotten better at it. I’m not saying I don’t over think anymore, I do occasionally. However, I’ve learned a few things along the way like self-love.

I knew that I didn’t feel good, I knew I couldn’t sleep so I just tried to trust the process. I learned to train my mind to believe in the timing of my life. I don’t think there’s really any formula to completely rid of things we want to change in our lives unless we fully admit things about ourselves we want to change and how willing you are to change it. It really is just will and mind power. In other words, as Jay-Z says to speak things into existence.

I learned that if it wasn’t now, another thing will come along that’s better. Missed opportunities are pieces of the puzzle that lead you to what you are destined for. I’ve learned that comparisons won’t change your current situation, so stop worrying and start creating a life you want for yourself.

Some of the things that helped me stop overthinking:

  1. Journal/blogging -writing out my problems or just putting thoughts into words helped me see things clearly and put my mind into perspective of what’s truly important
  2. Time away from people -I’m an ambivert and as much as I love company and people, I love quiet me time to help me re-energize so I can talk to people again.
  3. De-Cluttering -throwing away excess and keeping things I need rather than have them all around me, helped clear my mind to what truly matters to me
  4. Cultivating Gratitude -being grateful everyday for things I have rather than not have put my mind at ease instead of worry about things

 

Lifestyle Edit

I’m doing this new thing. After realizing I own a lot of random shit I acquired over the years thanks to capitalism and mass consumption. I start to evaluate all the clutter in my house. Do I really need 10 pairs of jeans in the same colour? Do I need all the magazines from years ago under my bed? Do I need that random medium sized box filled with junk in my closet or my bags from 2014 that I never use anymore?

I recently watched the documentary Minimalism on Netflix, I highly recommend it.  It gave me a lot of insight about all the clutter we consume on a daily basis, the amount of money we spend on all the useless junk that help us fill voids in our life that we feel we lack.

I then realized that I consume way too much stuff. I used to buy shirts I probably already owned just because I was going to an event or I just liked the feeling of new things or buying shoes I don’t need. I would spend money on services like lash extensions or get my hair done just because I felt like it. There was always a need to spend money I didn’t even have. I don’t know where I acquired this habit, it sort of manifested itself and I knew I had to do something about it quick.

I should have known better and instead of beating myself up about it, I devised de-cluttering my room first. I spent half the day listening to Michael Jackson’s greatest hits while noticing this giant pile of clothing that occupied most of my room.

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It was pretty ridiculous to see how much clothes I never even wore or things I stopped wearing years ago stuffed in a tiny closet. I always found myself wearing the same pair of jeans, same shirts, and sweaters. So once I removed all the stuff I didn’t wear at all, my room looked way freer and more organized.

I was shocked to see the amount of stuff that would stress me out, make me feel disorganized, left me feeling clean and orderly.

All two pairs of the jeans I wore constantly were in one side, a couple dress shirts, a few casual shirts to match all my bottoms, and coats I wore daily. It made it so much easier to find the things I need for the day.

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I also started this new budgeting system called the Envelope system I found on Pinterest created by Dave Ramsey. I’ve been experimenting for a month now and I might do a blog post on how it’s working out for me, but so far I think this is working for me in terms of giving me a clear picture of prioritizing all the necessities (i.e. groceries, credit card bills, phone bills, bus pass, house bills, loan), 30 percent goes to wants/personal expenses, 20 percent goes to savings and repayments of debt.

So far, I really like seeing a clear picture of what I need to do and feel like I have more breathing room in terms of enjoying life with these little lifestyle changes.  I will update for future lifestyle edits. By clearing my space of some material things I don’t need I definitely see some improvement in terms of appreciating all the important things I do own and it helps me decide if I really need something before making a big purchase.

 

 

Short hair, don’t care

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A day before my birthday, I went back to my regular hair cut. I tried growing my hair out but that didn’t work out for me, so she’s back. Like most people can’t part with their long hair, I can’t part with my short hair. I love this cut because it’s just easier for me and I personally like this length on me more than my longer hair.

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Hi, today marks the 27 years I’ve been on this earth

I was never a fan of throwing birthday parties. I liked going to them, but never really liked the work that went behind throwing one. I think I liked them less as I got older because I knew people couldn’t show up and everyone is on a different schedule. Also, I hated the process of whether to do it at home or outside. If I did it at home, I had to buy decor, set up, prepare food, host, and clean up after. If I did it outside, I had to see what places would be good for a group of friends to go and if there are any places I can book near or on my birthday.

Every year, I did a small thing with just my family. No clubs or debuts (traditional Filipino version of a Quinceañera), no big celebration ever. Boring…I know. I remember Grade 3, I invited my entire class and only one girl came and ever since I just liked having intimate birthday settings. Sounds pretty pathetic, so this year I wanted to change that a bit and get out of my comfort zone.

I reserved a Mexican restaurant Wednesday night and this place that rents out ping pong tables for a group of my friends. Should be fun, but I don’t really know why I’ve been stressing about it. I have this dire need to please people! It’s ridiculous and I shouldn’t feel this way ever. I should just enjoy my birthday with people I like to hang out with. I always think they might think it’s lame. Hosting and entertaining is not really my specialty, so this is new territory.

I am however pretty proud of myself that I actually got the courage to do something out of the ordinary and invite people to my party. I’m pretty nervous and excited. I’ll be sure to post pictures of the event the day after. I’ll let you guys know how it goes.

Here’s me on my 1st birthday party and just like getting super drunk on your 19th birthday….I don’t remember any of it.


How does it feel to be 27?

Shhhhhh….Old. My 20s have been such an interesting time period, well I say this because I don’t quite remember my pubescent years besides hideous fashion choices and poor taste in guys (frosted tips were never a good look).

Any advice?

If you are reading this under the age of 20 or in your 20s, just note that no one is the perfect adult. There is no manual for adulthood, you just wing it…like I did most of my high school days. There are moments you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom and you can’t get out, don’t worry you will get out. Everything just takes time and no one will ever be the perfect adult. Social media can be your enemy at times because people may seem to have their life together and you don’t, that’s not true.

Don’t compare your beginnings to someone else’s middle.

I am the expert at failing things, I fail because I do stuff. I say you should fail and anyone that tells you that failing is wrong, is Satan LOL. When you fail you get better in life and you become stronger. Take risks as cliche as that sounds. Everything takes time and patience. I’ve mentioned in my previous blog post that you should never settle until you’ve accomplished all the things you wanted to do in life. Ever! People will tell you that hobbies can never turn into careers, don’t listen. These days anything can turn into a career with proper execution. Don’t let the doubters kill your dreams and don’t let your own doubt kill your dreams.

Never stop doing what you love and cultivate gratitude. ❤

 

 

 

Ghost Boy

What is it with these guys? You know the type that would sweep you off your feet one minute and then the next minute they drop you to the ground and shut the door like you never saw it coming.

Do you recognize this type of guy/girl? I really don’t know what type of impression I leave guys. Do I read “she’s definitely a one-night stand” type of girl? I’m sorry, but that’s not who I am. If by wooing me in a nice fancy restaurant, taking me to a nice location at sunset, and talking about future endeavors with me will get you laid…I don’t think so buddy!

I’m tired of all these guys that think they can give you this amazing time to expect a prize in return. I am not your token prize, dude! If it’s not that, they ghost you and expect you to pretend like nothing happened. Why do they do this you asked? So they can keep coming back to you whenever. They go on about how they miss you or ask you how your day was. Okay, you’re not getting off easy pal.

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See back then, I would’ve accepted all this bullshit unwillingly…because I was lonely, insecure, and foolish. However, these days I don’t tolerate people who just come back in my life whenever they want and think it’s fine to do so.

Listen, if you are experiencing the same situation…I recommend the ctrl alt delete method/ block/delete this guy. No offense to him and whatever he’s going through, but you don’t deserve this in your life. You need distance from these type of people. You will just end up feeling like you could change things, maybe they’ll change, but for the most part I don’t want to entertain something with false hope.

If they ghost you, what makes them think they can just run back to you like nothings wrong. All I have to say to these guys is, “honey, you done fucked up home slice…pack your bags your not staying in casa de Beatrice tonight.”

Save yourself the hurt, stop questioning yourself as to why he did this, and just remove him from your life. You will be better in the long run. Let me know your thoughts! xx

 

 

First Day of Hot Yoga

This year I’ve been bad with my health. I haven’t been eating right, I watch a ton of Netflix (the abnormal amount), I use my phone a lot, I sleep late most of the time, and I’ve been slacking on doing any type of physical activity. In a way I was consciously aware that I’ve been neglecting my health and therefore causing me to stress out, be moody, and it brought out a lot of negative thoughts.

Then I had an epiphany…

I was surfing the web during my lunch hour and found Yoga. HOOOOT YOGA! I’ve heard people talk about how Yoga is great and life changing.

  1. It helps them with joint pains….I have that
  2. It helps with posture….my mom says I have terrible posture
  3. And it makes you sweat out all the bad toxins in your body….I have a load of that, and it overall makes you more flexible and yadi yadi yada

So I whipped out my credit card signed up for this deal of $40 for 30 days. Once you register you can see all the class information, workshops, programs, and you can sign up for classes. UHHH-MAAY-ZING!

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Today was my first yoga class. It was an hour long regular power yoga class in a hot room. Basically the yoga instructor walks around and tells you what poses to do (i.e. upward dog, downward dog, etc). I pretty much just followed everyone and most of the stuff she said I kind of had an idea of what they were. Let me tell you this, it’s my first time being in actual Yoga studio/class. I never liked joining workout classes by myself because I found it intimidating and I’m just an awkward human so I felt like people would judge me…IDK. However, I was wrong because everyone it was so friendly and it was all around a friendly atmosphere.

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If you are new to hot yoga like myself here are some tips:

  1. Get a big water bottle with a cold drink filled with electrolytes in it (it helps you have more energy through out that hour in a hot room)
  2. Take breaks if you need to because if you don’t, you’ll feel woozy like I did. I can’t deter sometimes if I’m pushing myself too hard.
  3. Bring a towel, you will sweat buckets…SERIOUSLY
  4. I would bring  my own Yoga mat if you have one, if you hate germs and it’s just better…but they do supply mats if you need it

During the cool down they hand out cold towels to put on your head and it’s feels amazing especially being in that hot room. Oh and when you walk out of that room and feel that slight wind….oh baby!

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Despite getting dizzy from the heat for like a minute or so (what an amateur lol), I must say I feel so much better. Like my body feels like it realigned itself. I honestly feel like I can be Spider-Man and can swing thru buildings. My legs/feet used to hurt when I sit for awhile and stand afterwards, but they don’t hurt surprisingly. I also feel like I have more energy now.

If you haven’t tried yoga, I highly recommend it. I just signed up for 4 more classes next week. I feel like this is going to be my new thing!

After seeing half my family experiencing all kinds of illnesses, I took it upon myself to try and change my lifestyle and I’m glad I found something that works. I also enjoy HIIT cardio as long as I have company. I say just get out there and do more for your health, these days it’s so easy to get caught up with the stresses of life or because we enjoy food too or enjoy a lot of the things that make us more tired or negative that we neglect being healthy.

I was always reluctant on joining classes with people, but I did it. These past few months have seriously made me reevaluate myself, like what am I doing? I think once you realize something wrong or you feel like you’re not yourself, it could be your lifestyle choices. As you reach your mid 20s, that’s a crucial time to really look at signs and not slack on our health. It was good back when we were 12 and could stuff 10 donuts in one sitting and not look fat, but it’s soooooo much harder to lose the weight you gain from eating out everyday at 26.

So what do I think of yoga? From a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a solid 10.5.

The place I chose is a company called Power Yoga. If you are in Canada definitely check out their website and see the various programs/workshops they offer. They are pretty good over there. 🙂